Finding Joy at the Turn of a Page

Well, today was the last day of my summer semester. American literature definitely stole my heart as I learned so much about different authors along with reading and analyzing works by them. I grew up hating to read; honestly the idea rarely even crossed my mind. Until this semester, that remained true. Despite the fact that I loathed reading, I have always loved to write. Through moving, different relationships, and struggles in my life, I have constantly turned to it as an outlet.  My mother always encouraged me to read because she said it would improve my writing skills. Of course she was right, but like many other things it was advice I tossed to the side with little consideration. I guess my mind is lazy. I loved a good story but I always turned to TV and movies to get that fulfillment. That is a shame because so many authors do an amazing job at making their stories come to life.

The past five weeks have opened my eyes to the great authors in American history. I have a greater appreciation for books and I hope that I can continue reading as a daily habit. This would not have been possible without my professor, Mrs. Weedman. Her passion for the material made reading fun and her insight gave me a greater understanding of each piece. She is truly an amazing teacher and I actually looked forward to every class period. It takes a great instructor to make three hours fly by. I cannot thank her enough for giving me the tools and allowing me to discover the joy in reading.

Three years ago, I had a teacher with a similar passion. My senior year in high school, Mrs. Briggs gave me the tools and encouragement to better my writing skills and gave me opportunities to utilize them. I never had the chance to thank her for the wonderful influence she was on me.

It is women like these that change the lives of students, teachers that invest the time to encourage and help us realize that we have a talent. These are the kind of teachers we need teaching, so one can plant a seed and others may water it as the student grows. In high school I decided I wanted to be a writing teacher, allowing other students the opportunity to find an outlet through writing as I did. Eventually I threw the idea away realizing that my lack of interest in reading would make that dream nearly impossible. It was not until my American literature class that I realized this could still be a possibility. Even if I don’t choose that route, I know that I am capable of reading and understanding.

Not only did this class show me the joy of reading, but it made me realize I can be a good student. This class is the first time I have received an A in nearly eight years and I assure you it was not without a challenge. I worked so hard and it allowed me to see that hard work does pay off. I also realized that even as an ADHD student, with a little time and patience my mind is just as brilliant as those without.

No matter what I choose to do tomorrow, next year, or with the rest of my life, these teachers have forever impacted me. I cannot thank them enough for that. I encourage you to take the time to thank those who have impacted you. A simple thank you note can go farther than you may know. 

"A great teacher takes a hand, opens a mind, and touches a heart."

She Used to be a Pearl...

Last time I lived in Midland, I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart. Now, being back in town, it’s been hard going to places that he and I shared together. It brings back memories, good and bad, that just make me think of the kind of relationship we had. I began to realize how important it is to have a good relationship with your significant other.

Girls, I cannot stress this enough… You don’t need to change who you are to get a guy. I remember all the things I did in high school to get a guy’s attention and I even pretended to like the things he was interested in. For example, my taste in music changed almost every time I got a new boyfriend and I would do this just so he would notice me. I usually got the guy and had an ok relationship, but eventually I just got so tired of pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

Anyway, the biggest problem that I had in my relationship was I fell so hard that I let them treat me poorly. I was afraid of being alone, and honestly I still kind of am. I was so afraid of him leaving me that I was swayed so easily to do things that pleased him. After two and a half years I completely lost sight of who I was, I let him convince me that there probably was no God, and I wasn’t truly happy. He would yell at me even if I brought up my faith and wasn’t very supportive. We fought all the time, used hurtful words, and I was so damaged from our arguments. I held on so long that I was nearly convinced that he was the one. I couldn’t see anything beyond what he told me to see. After all, I had made him the center of my world. At such a young age it is really hard to not only focus on your boyfriend It's hard to think ahead to being out of your parents house, on your own, and onto new and better opportunities.

There were times that I tried to leave but he would always convince me to give him another chance. I know it’s easy to give into promises, but they are usually empty promises. The truth is, people can change but it’s rare that they change in the same relationship that was screwed up. Sometimes it’s best to move on and just hope they learned and can treat someone else better.

Thanks to good friends, I let go. I chose to start fresh. I have never been happier. But the biggest advice I can give to other girls is love someone who builds you up. Not someone who tears you down. The song featured below really helped me when I decided that he was breaking me down. It gave me the strength to get out of a bad situation. If you’re in a damaging relationship, there IS a way out and I promise that in the end you’ll be stronger than you ever were before.

“You don’t have to be a shell.

You’re the one that rules your world.
You are strong and you’ll learn that you can still go on.
And you’ll always be a pearl.”